I’m writing this because when I searched Getting Old is Hard, the search engine somehow led me to the article, “11 Benefits of Getting Older” by Suzanne Hadley Gosselin. Not the direction I was headed, but I thought, that’s positive thinking, a thing I’m generally not capable of, which is why I opened the whole article.  

Since the article started addressing a target audience of 20-40 year-olds, and since the author’s picture at the bottom of the article showed a child, barely past the age of 35, I didn’t read it in its entirety. What I was able to read, because the font was bigger and bolder, listed more than these on my list, but I didn’t want to bash the child’s entire article, so I’ve only included this shortened list:

1. You have “old friends.” 
2. You’re more comfortable in your own skin. 
3. You get to be the expert sometimes. 
4. You’re better at “adulting”.
5. Being able to recognize your own mortality
6. You make fewer foolish mistakes.

This is only a few of the somewhat misleading items on the article’s list that I will address thusly…

Firstly, having “old friends”. Old is relative but it still means that it is not really a benefit. Some of my old friends are moving to adult retirement communities. So, now I’m afraid that if I go to visit them there, I might not be able to escape. It happens.  I saw an expose about it on Netflix. Well, it may have actually been a movie, but it could happen, the idea had to come from somewhere.

I confess, at first, I misread the next item about being comfortable in your own skin, I thought it said being comfortable in your old skin. Never entirely possible, but since the idea is the same I can let that one slide only because the two at this point refer to basically the same skin. That skin being the one you see attached to your face when you walk by a mirror. It’s taken 10 years, and I still startle a little when I realize those wrinkles are mine. 

The third point – getting to be an expert at something. This one is hilarious and probably true to the article’s target audience, because at 20 or even 40 you may think you are an expert, but at 60 you discover you’ll never be as “smart” as the generation after you, and they’ll let you know.

Being better at ‘adulting’”.  Another funny one. I don’t believe anyone is good at “adulting” and almost any 50 plus year old adult would agree, and if they don’t, they’ll tell you “adulting” is not brag worthy.

Being able to recognize your own mortality. In my humble opinion (IMHO-in case you were wondering) that’s not a plus at any age, unless it lights a fire, so you get your estate planned. [insert ad for estate planning attorneys]

And finally, you probably won’t make fewer mistakes, but you won’t remember them which could be the benefit.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter

~~ Mark Twain

But there really are benefits to growing old. 

1. You probably drive a better car than you did when you were younger. 
2. You are close to retirement and can see social security just starting to break the dawn of your immediate future. 
3. You can enjoy so many great senior citizen discounts; there are at least four. AARP will send you multiple emails offering more, but the rest are really illusive. [insert ad for AARP]
4. Your grandkids are probably out of diapers, so you will get to spend time playing with them and not maintaining their parents’ expectation of optimum hygiene.[insert diaper ad] 
5. If you’re lucky enough you’ll get to celebrate your parents’ golden years with them. Although they may be back in diapers [insert ad for Depends Adult Diapers], which takes some of the fun out of that. [insert ad for waterproof auto seat covers]
6. Funeral planning can be fun. [Insert ad for funeral home] Picturing all your loved ones gathered to celebrate your life. [insert ad for florist] You can take time to search for the longest end of life music in the hymnal of your choice in anticipation that they will want your funeral to last as long as possible. You can write up a really lovely eulogy for yourself. Be sure to spice it up with adventures and special moments, even if you didn’t do all of them; they’ll all be too grief stricken to fact check. 
7. You are probably close to qualifying for Meals-on-Wheels.
8. Most of those retirement communities are very wonderful, you don’t have to cook or sweep, or wash your bed linens. One place I’m aware of has Chocolate Bingo once a week, and they almost all have buses that take you to the casino. [Insert ad for first retirement community to win a bid for this spot] [insert ad for “A Place for Mom”][insert ad for casinos]

There of course are many other benefits to growing old. For example, I’ve often heard it said, “it’s better than the alternative”. Meaning death. Death being the alternative if you haven’t worked that out. And those of us at a certain devastatingly old age can all agree such comments are rude, snarky and have no place being said to someone at their 50th birthday party.

And, also, 50 is not the new 40.  Maybe the new 49, but not the new 40. 

I’m not bitter. And I’m not being negative, I’m being realistic. Face it, God willing, we will all grow old, but I don’t think we have to celebrate it like a 35 year-old.  I think one of those smart-assed 20 year-old experts should figure out a way to slow down the aging process while I can still outrun those fanatics at the retirement community. 

Cheers, here’s to growing old gracefully.

Hugs, Elle ~ [Age: undeclared]

Note to Suzanne, I’m sorry if this is incorrectly cited. It’s lovely really and I’m sure it is very encouraging for your contemporaries. boundless.org/blog/11-benefits-of-getting-older/ Feb 1, 2022